Almost.

I was told recently that I had an amazing ability to find the perfect song. The song that was the exact situation, just with music notes. Usually decorative piano between verses, instead of a defining silence between statements, gestures, or emotional expression.

This person simply restated something my mother used to tell me. She used to cry every time she'd watch me dance. She'd tear up when I'd be laying on the floor telling her about a song, what each lyric meant, what each cord meant, and why it ended the way that it did. She always told me I connected with music and understood music in a way that admirable. This was an amazing compliment coming from a musician such as herself.

So you can only image how frustrating this past month has been. Trying to find the right song. The song that states the reality of him being gone. That states the fact that he asked me to stay. That shows the aggravation. That states "I"m happy you're happy," but "I really wish you'd change your mind." That expresses the flat out... What the heck?!

This song... isn't it. The melody is wrong. The singer isn't the one who should be singing it. And the piano isn't right. But the lyrics are close. This is the song that I'm calling "almost". I refuse to say that it is the song, because it's not. But this is the song that I'm accepting till I find THE song. And maybe by then it'll be "Rootless Tree" (by Damien Rice) (don't look that one up. it swears a lot) or "Look at You Now" (by Joe Purdy). But I'm sick of over playing "Pretty Things" (by Jay Nash, Matt Duke & Tony Lucca), "It Doesn't Hurt" (by Katie Thompson), and "Romeo and Juliet" (performed by Matt Nathanson......(this is my false hope song)). I've attempted to convince myself that "Some Things Don't Work Out" (by Joe Purdy) is the song... but it's not. Because it could have. There are so many other songs that I've listened to over and over again, that one line fits, or the violin is perfect. But rather than sharing all of them, I'm going to leave it as these. Because I feel that you are getting the point. If you haven't, please tell me, I've got about 10 more I'd be happy to share.

(I heard today that my posts are too long... that's why nobody really reads them.... *cough*)

Ladies and Gentlemen. Here is Almost the Song.