Not Quite One, Not Quite Two.

(Original Reading- August 5, 2010. Funeral for Angela Ivie)

I went on a hike today, And I couldn't find you, You weren't near, "Mom where are you?"

That's when I heard it, That simple reply, Somehow understood through my Hysterical cries.

I was in the woods, The last place you'd be. I forgot it wasn't you that loved the mountains, Silly- That was me.

You hated the outdoors, And anything with a camper, I can't get enough of that so... How are you my mother?

Your hair is stuck in the 80's, Mom you needed a straightener, The poof was never in- I'm not claiming you, mother.

I can't stand spending money, I'm sorta a penny pincher, We know that's not you, I'm not sure you're my mother.

Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, Of that you're an avid drinker, I won't get near the stuff, Again, how are you my mother?

McDonalds is gross- Please eat healthier. It's cheap for a reason! Good gracious mother.

Our views on dating, Are less than matching, Somehow I'M the conservative one, You sure you're my mother?

We used to fight a lot, Sometimes still do, I'm right, you're wrong, Still wanna be my mother???

I've eaten the wrong thing, A little nauseous you could say, A weak stomach just like you, OK, maybe I'm your daughter.

Walking through the store, Jewelry, it sparkles and shine, That my friend, can not be passed- Most likely I'm you daughter.

Christmas time and 'Black Friday'- Has always been our favorite, No question on what to get each other, It's been exciting to be your daughter.

In a business setting, You're an outstanding worker, Maybe I got that too? I'm proud to be your daughter.

Living with the demons, That won't seem to leave, You've understood my tears, I need to be your daughter.

Your love to create music Matched mine to tell it's story, It's times like that, It makes sense I'm your daughter.

Walking by your casket- Glancing at your pretty hands, There lies your temple recommend... I'm honored to be your daughter.

I went on this hike- Just trying to find you, You weren't there, "Mom I need you."

I hiked back down, With big mascara tears, How am I going to make it, With out you through the years?

I got back home- In the mirror I saw more of you, Not just the usual me, Cause, now, we're not quite one, yet not quite two.

Maybe

Standing in surgery, nearing the 6th hour. No lunch and getting a little annoyed.

With dead conversation... this song came on. ....I wonder how many people saw the goofy smile through my mask...

Summma Tiime & the livins E.Z.

Shout out to the white nectarine. Favorite fruit of Summer 11'. Try one today! Sold at your local grocery store.

Adjectividation (Personal Pick-me-Up-&-Go)

I haven't really written anything this month.

I'm sure you all noticed. And I'm sure this concerned you.

My last writing post got called "morbid" By someone whose opinion I hold way too high for my own good.

That piece of writing is probably one of my favorites. It's incredibly honest, well, one sided metaphorically honest. I think they didn't catch the metaphorical part.

Either way... I took that hard. too hard. And I personalized it. I started to feel like they didn't just call my writing morbid... But because my writing was so important to me, They had called me morbid.

Which would mean I was this:

mor-bid

[mawr-bid]

-adjective 1. suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, ect.: a morbid interest in death. 2. affect by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.

So. For the past month, that is the label I took on. I couldn't bring myself to write because, Who would want to read unwholesomely gloomy writing?

From an unhealthy mentally sick person?

Till today.

As much as I value their opinion... They were wrong. are.

What happened today? Well it seems as if people I surround myself with, who see me, who know me now, have been using very uplifting adjectives (or maybe today I listened) Which ever it is Here are the list of my favorite adjectives used, from a rather paramount self-esteem-boosting-day.

al-lur-ring

[uh-loor-ring]

-adjective 1. very attractive or tempting; enticing; seductive. 2. fascinating; charming

wise

[wahyz]

-adjective 1. having the power of discerning and judging probperly as to what is true or right; possesing discernment, judgement, or discretion. 2. characterized by or showing such power; judicious or prudent; a wise decision. 3. possessed of or characterized by scholarly knowledge or learning learned; erudite: wise in the law.

Free Spirit

-noun

1. a person with a highly individual or unique attitude, lifestyle, or imagination; nonconformist.

per-son-a-ble

[pur-suh-nuh-buhl]

-adjective 1. of pleasing personal appearance; handsome or comely; attractive. 2. having an argeeable or please personality; affable; amiable; sociable.

Aren't those great? I'm not saying I completely agree 100% or all the time. But... why would they use those selected words if they didn't believe it? They have nothing to gain from it. so. Those. Are my new labels.

(hopefully)

(I saved the best for last) This one... is used rarely. By one person. Rare, because it's special, But often enough for me to know That that is how they've labeled me. No matter what is going on, no matter who is around, no matter what media is used, whenever they use this word, I feel incredible.

lovely

[luhv-lee]

-adjective 1. charmingly or exquisitely beautiful: a lovely flower. 2. having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye, as a person or a face. 3. delightful; highly pleasing: to have a lovely time.

uh....

How big of an issue is this?

Caithlyn and Mitchell

.............................*sigh..................................

Lost Cause

Don't think too much about it. Just enjoy a great song that happens to be "it" for tonight at 1 am.