Funeral.

This post is going to be borderline morbid, 

kinda,

for some.

As you know, this last week my aunt passed away.

and I watched as my cousins, grandparents, and other family members

went through the painful process of planning yet another funeral.

A funeral that was a bit more expected,

but not much more planned for.

I watched my cousins become over whelmed,

when all they wanted to do was sit and grieve.

Planning a funeral is horrible.

There are a million and ten things that have to be done,

all while you're trying to be grateful to everyone who calls or stops by,

when all you truly want to do is lay in bed and cry.

The week of planning the funeral

is the most intense feeling of sadness,

and the busiest week you'll ever experience.

So. 

to avoid that for my family again,

I'm 23, in pretty good health, a safe driver,

and have my funeral planned out.

I have who I want to speak/play some part in the program,

(this is updated as people come and go in my life)

(Brother, Grandpa, Grandma, Dr. C, and a few others)

 

I have my favorite hymns listed to chose from

(Nearer My God to Thee,

Be Still My Soul,

and 

I Know My Redeemer Lives)

I have a list of songs saved that I'd like played/performed/sung;

Examples:

Tangerine: Led Zeppelin

 Golden Slumbers: The Beatles

Look at Me: Damien Rice

Annie's Song: John Denver

Close Your Eyes: Jump Little Children

Smile: Nat King Cole

(This list is actually really really long)

I've talked to a few people about how important it is to me

that my obituary is "real."

I've told them,

"I'm not the best at anything,

I'm not very sweet,

I'm not the greatest,

and not everyone I meet loves me,

So don't say any of that"

(I can't write my own. It'd be too depressing for people to read)

My headstone needs to have my middle name.

 I don't care that it's not legal,

put quotations.

I want to be wearing pearls.

and for heavens sake...

Will someone PLEASE make sure I don't have

a) a uni brow

b) a mustache

and

c) will someone put fake lashes on me?

(we put them on my mom, they looked amazing)

Well, 

I guess you don't even need to come,

You've just read the whole line up!

(there are no plans to die anytime soon.

But after losing my mom unexpectedly,

and working at the hospital and seeing so many unexpected/untimely deaths,

you... I guess just plan more than most)