idunno

So. I'm finally at that age.

The age I can remember other people reaching.

My aunts, dance teachers, young women leaders, and brother's friends.

The age that, while I was growing up, everyone "here" seemed to know.

Know exactly where they were going.

Know exactly what they were doing.

Know exactly who they were.

~

Where everyone was

Moving out.

was/getting married

Graduating College

Starting their career

Having Children

Starting their own "families"

Staring in their own world.

~ I remember being younger.

Saying I wish I was that age.

I wish I was there.

If only I were done with this "stage"

~ Everyone told me to stop.

Not to wish my life away.

That I would miss those years.

That I would long to have them back, When really they should have said

"Hillary, I have no idea what the freak I'm doing"

~

Or did they?

Did they all... somehow, have it as

..."figured out"...

As it appeared?

~

People ask me all the time

"What's your major?"

With a smile and fantastic posture I answer

"The Social Science Composite Teaching Major"

...I want to be a teacher...

I want to be a teacher

I love teaching.

(I Think)

~

I get asked that on a regular basis.

I answer it confidently e.v.e.r.y.t.i.m.e.

When really... I'm maybe 77% sure.

(82% on a good day)

(95% if a teacher is complimenting my "skills")

~

So this makes me wonder

Was everyone I talked to just

Mostly Sure Or Pretty Sure

And did they asnwered confidently (like I do)

To avoid

Questions

Confused looks

Not welcomed advice

and incorrect labels

~

So.

To everyone who "has"

how sure were you really?

To everyone who "is"

how sure are you really?

(I finally got my grandfather to admit that school was hard. That sometimes it felt never ending. That once in a while.... he just wanted to quit.

I took a huge sigh of relief while driving home)