On Stage.

I figured something out!

No.. Like... this is HUGE

I figured out something that has potential to save my next relationship.

Ok, background stories first.

Story #1

(not really a story.. just more of a fact)

I love performing.

I always have, 

I love dancing around, singing, and taking on a whole new role of "who" I am.

 I would rather be on stage dancing,

or in front of a camera lip syncing,

Than just about anywhere else at any time.

  I feel most comfortable in my own skin when I'm performing.

(note: if you egg me on at all... I will perform. It's not hard to get me to put on a show)

Story #2

I was eating dinner with a friend (of... 7 years?)

and he sat there and talked about how frustrating it is to be around me because

I can not take a compliment. 

(I got him to admit I've gotten a kabillion times better over the years)

And it's not that I'm bashful when someone compliments me,

I just flat out don't believe them. 

I try.

I want to.

But I don't. 

Or even if I do believe them, I don't think it's anything special.

It's frustrating for everyone involved and I hate it.

So. 

My realization.

The man I marry... will just have to know this about me,

(while I will continue to work on just taking a compliment)

He'll know the way to tell me he thinks I look nice is in a dramatic applause. 

No.

 looking nice = golf clap

looking really good = real clap

Happy to be with me, thinks I have a good personality (er something) = standing ovation. 

People lie when they talk,

but no one lies when they applaud.

Best Friends

I've been struggling with the concept of friends as of late. 

I'll actually be writing quite a hefty post about this...

but as for right now I'm just going to share a quick story.

 A few nights ago I was at my aunt's house. 

This wasn't a planned visit so I wasn't expecting much out of it.

She was busy.

Her husband wasn't home.

And my 4 year old cousin had a friend over.

Needless to say I just kinda did my own thing for a while.

Till my cousin's friend left and he came upstairs to say hi.

As we sat there talking and poking fun at each other,

he sounded out and pointed to a bunch of letters on the computer screen.

He just wanted to show me what he had learned.

I had a strange mix of excitement and a lump in my throat as he pointed to each letter.

I was so excited that he had learned so much since I last "read" with him,

and completely broken heart-ted  because he's just growing up so fast!

So...

... to avoid actual tears, I quickly started tickling him while saying

that I loved him being little... 

that I was sad he was growing up

and that I just wanted him to be little and my best friend forever.

(we're declared best friends)

He whipped around and grabbed my face and said

"I'll always be your best friend"

I replied

"What about when you're a stinky ol' teenager that is too cool for me?"

He laughed and said 

"Hirry (that's how he says my name).... even when I'm big like you, we'll always be best friends"

I quickly asked

"promise?"

 He turned back around and slid off my lap and as he walked away said 

"YUP!"

It's stupid... But he is... without a doubt... my best friend right now.